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CorneliaGilson on Jan 04 | Be the first to comment!

A recent study by a group of researchers at the Cheating Buster Center for the Study of Women in Leadership at the University of Chicago found that over the course of their lives, women who had been cheated on by their partners ended up being less successful than those who had not been cheated on. Apparently, this is because cheating women are more likely to be emotionally vulnerable.

The study says a lot about why so many women have affairs: because it’s so messy and stressful, and because it doesn’t feel good to be responsible for someone else besides your partner and your kids. Our society has always rewarded men who are willing to take risks that other people won’t. The only problem with that is that those risks often cost us our happiness, which means we don’t get to live comfortably while we do it.
To think about what differentiates low-hanging fruit from high-flying fruit — something I believe is an important conversation to have — let me pose two questions:
1) How would you rate your career as a guy versus a girl? I’d guess most people would say they are roughly equal when it comes to having great jobs but not as great personal relationships (maybe there’s a one-percent difference, but then again I might be underestimating). Which would you say will make you happier? And which would you say will bring more happiness?
2) How much do you value having a good relationship with your boss or spouse versus having a good relationship with your friends? As I see it, all three relationships will bring happiness; they just differ in how much they do. But how much difference do you suppose there is between those three things if we take the total number of hours people spend working on each one of them into account? I think most people would probably consider them virtually equal, except maybe for the fact that bosses tend to have bad bosses (can you name any?) whereas friends tend to be very cool (can you name any?).
CorneliaGilson on Jan 04 | Be the first to comment!

Cheating is a big issue for many people. It is even more a problem for women in the work world. If you are female and use your time at work to cheat, you have probably thought about it at some point. Women have been cheated by men for thousands of years and sometimes still do it. The number of women who cheat is unknown but one thing is for sure: cheaters do so not because they lack emotional intelligence but because they are emotionally deficient in some way, usually related to self-esteem.

Why does cheating happen? There are many reasons. One of them is that we have evolved to be insecure and insecure people tend to react in several ways:
- We try to find an external cause (e.g., “she was mean to me”) - We try to find an internal cause (e.g., “her looks were deceiving”) - We try to find an excuse (e.g., “you didn’t get me the job, I should be grateful”) - We try to find a justification (e.g., “I am too good looking for her” or “she has a terrible personality, therefore she deserves what she gets”) - We try to reduce the impact by blaming others (e.g., “he must be seeing another woman while I am still alive” or “they were doing it all along anyway and I am just too stupid not to see it”)
It sounds like there are only two solutions here, right? Yes, there is one solution: don't cheat!
You might think that saying this makes you sound like a cold hearted asshole and maybe you do act like one on occasion too; but the real reason that most men cheat is that they cannot control their emotions and their thoughts cannot control their actions . Men can get angry at things which happened a long time ago without feeling any regret about those things later on, so when they do something bad in the present moment they will experience no emotion towards it afterwards either ... at least if they can control their thoughts and emotions enough.

CorneliaGilson on Jan 04 | 6 comments
I’m not going to spend a lot of time here explaining the concept of 😄 “cheating” cheatingbuster.com as it’s been described in many different ways. I know there are many people who think it’s okay to cheat because they don’t want to be with someone who is. Not true. If you don’t want to be with someone, then you shouldn’t be with them, period. It doesn't matter how great they are, how sexy or funny or exciting or interesting they are, and how much they make you feel like you can do anything and everything that is on your mind — if you aren't attracted to him/her, your relationship will fail and end in a hurry.
So I won’t waste your time here either by explaining why it's wrong for women to cheat (there are many reasons) but just explain that there's a difference between being attracted to someone and being interested in them romantically (for some women).
What I am going to do instead is share some psychological facts about cheating women:
• The most common reason women find themselves cheating on their partners is because their partner has cheated on them before.
• The second most common reason women find themselves cheating on their partners is because they are dissatisfied with their partner's performance sexually.
• The third most common reason women find themselves cheating on their partners is because they're angry at their partner for something other than sex issues (such as an argument, etc.).
CorneliaGilson on Jan 04 | Be the first to comment!
Here’s an excellent article on psychology, writing and motivation: “Psychology, Motivation and the Art of Medieval Chess” by Christopher Chabris & Dan Wegner. In it, Chabris states that:

“There is one psychological fact about cheating women…which is that it may be hard for men to stop themselves from doing it.”

💑 

Chabris and Wegner demonstrate this in a series of experiments (here is the second one) in which they examine how people describe their thoughts after being cheated on (which we will not do here). The results are very interesting. The simple phrase “I would have cheated” about three times as often as the more complex phrase “I would have cheated if I could, but I couldn't stop myself.”
What does this mean? It means that people think they are capable of stopping themselves when they are not — because they think it would be easier to lie and say, “I was going to stop myself, but I didn't.”

What causes women to cheat?

Cheating is a very personal matter, as the pages of the Cheating Buster Project say. It can be really hard to figure out what drives women to cheat. For some of us, the answer is obvious: it’s our guy. While this is certainly not the case for all women (for example, cheating with your boss isn’t totally in your control), we can all agree on one thing: there are certain aspects of our behavior that we don’t want to change.